UGH! We’ve all been there, right? Sitting in an interview, trying to strike the perfect balance between being authentic and professional. You’re asked what seems like a simple question, and before you know it, you’ve launched into a deeply personal story about why you’re making a career shift or how you handled a difficult situation. While it’s natural to want to connect with your interviewer, oversharing can derail your chances of landing the job.
Remember, these are your potential employers or potential colleagues, definitely not your friends.
Oversharing often happens for a few reasons.
For one, nerves can play a significant role. When we’re anxious, a moment of silence during the interview can feel like 5minutes rather than a small 20 seconds. Because of the weight of the silence, we tend to fill the space with unnecessary details in an attempt to feel more in control.
Then, there’s the desire to be liked; we want to appear relatable, open, and authentic, which can sometimes lead us to share more than is necessary or appropriate.
Lastly, a lack of clear boundaries can contribute to oversharing. Without preparation, it’s easy to misjudge how much personal information is suitable for a professional setting.
If you’re anything like me, a person with ADHD, you have to be extra prepared for something like this. ADHD and oversharing go together like PB&J!
Unfortunately, oversharing creates risks that can potentially harm your chances in an interview. Providing too much information can dilute your message, burying your key skills or achievements you really wanted to shine during the conversation. Another thing to note is that personal experiences can reveal mistakes and without recognizing this and demonstrating how you resolved an issue, it can create doubt about your reliability. I am a huge fan of authenticity; I would even say that it is valued. But sharing overly personal stories can blur the professional boundaries that are necessary in an interview.
The good news is that oversharing can be avoided with preparation and mindfulness.
A great way to keep your responses focused is by using the STAR method, which stands for Situation, Task, Action, and Result. This approach helps structure your answers and ensures your answers are concise and professional.
For example, if you’re asked about a challenge you had at work, start by (briefly) describing the situation, outline the task you needed to accomplish, explain the actions you took, and conclude with the results. Think of it like a formula to follow. This structure keeps your response relevant and avoids unnecessary tangents.
It is beneficial for you to research common behavioral questions related to the role you are interviewing for. This will give you a chance to practice structuring your answers using the STAR method with specific scenarios. Record yourself to see your tone, body language, and how long it takes you to answer the questions. Use your videos to tweak your answers, so you’re not scrambling to think of new scenarios on the spot in the interview, which can feel intimidating and stressful leading to rambling.
Oversharing happens to the best of us though. I would say it’s inevitable for it to happen to us all at some point. So, if you catch yourself oversharing during an interview, first don’t panic! Take a small pause through a deep breath, simply acknowledge it, and redirect the conversation. You can say something like, “Oh - I just realized that I may have gone off on a little tangent (smile a little to lighten up the mood). To bring it back to your question…” This allows you to show self-awareness and recover gracefully.
The deep breath and the smile are to untense your own body. Sometimes when we feel we’ve made a mistake mid-interview, we feel stress and panic. The deep breath and smile are a signal to your nervous system that everything is still okay – because remember that it IS okay.
Ultimately, interviews are your chance to shine, but they are not the place for therapy sessions or overly casual conversations. The goal is to share enough to showcase your personality and qualifications without overshadowing your strengths.
Good Luck!